Thursday, July 31, 2014

Finalist Speech High Anxiety

This week I have intensively focused on the finalist speech, and I swear that it is killing me.

A run through with my coach on Monday night gave me the sense that some more practice would do the trick: to create the right flow.

A run through with my club on Wednesday gave me the sense that the speech might well have insurmountable structure, wording, emotional and flow problems.  One viewer suggested I scrap it altogether---and start over.

And tonight I planned to take the finalist speech to an advanced club for some evaluation.  Right now I am petrified that the club will view me as an imposter--that the same fellow who is their district champion can't come up with two good speeches.  And that I am clearly not working nearly hard enough on this competition.

The truth is somewhere in between.  "Through Different Eyes" was probably not as good as a I thought Monday.  It does need some adjustment.  But enough people have said it is not a dog that there must be hope it can make the grade.

And am I working hard enough?  All my instincts tell me that one can reach a point where he is overprepared and exhausted.  I am sure I am somewhere between "working hard" and "working too much".

The clock is ticking.  Loudly.  In a mere sixteen days I board an aircraft for whatever awaits me.  And here I am, worried that I am just not ready.  So.  I do what I can do.  Make my two presentations tonight and Saturday.  Drill as often as I can.  Make logical adjustments.  But get rest.

A lot of anxiety.  I hope I can gain clarity soon.

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