This week I have intensively focused on the finalist speech, and I swear that it is killing me.
A run through with my coach on Monday night gave me the sense that some more practice would do the trick: to create the right flow.
A run through with my club on Wednesday gave me the sense that the speech might well have insurmountable structure, wording, emotional and flow problems. One viewer suggested I scrap it altogether---and start over.
And tonight I planned to take the finalist speech to an advanced club for some evaluation. Right now I am petrified that the club will view me as an imposter--that the same fellow who is their district champion can't come up with two good speeches. And that I am clearly not working nearly hard enough on this competition.
The truth is somewhere in between. "Through Different Eyes" was probably not as good as a I thought Monday. It does need some adjustment. But enough people have said it is not a dog that there must be hope it can make the grade.
And am I working hard enough? All my instincts tell me that one can reach a point where he is overprepared and exhausted. I am sure I am somewhere between "working hard" and "working too much".
The clock is ticking. Loudly. In a mere sixteen days I board an aircraft for whatever awaits me. And here I am, worried that I am just not ready. So. I do what I can do. Make my two presentations tonight and Saturday. Drill as often as I can. Make logical adjustments. But get rest.
A lot of anxiety. I hope I can gain clarity soon.
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